It killed me. Nope, really
Father asks me what files in my extra disk i don t need now so he could delete them (saved on his work)
I explain.
The only one thing he really did - delete files i DO need.
And said something like "It doesn t matter"
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I feel myself ready to kill somebody. Now.
Cause if it doesn t matter for what reason he asked me?????
Nope... even it is not the worst. The worst is that he did all wrong way out!! Exactly wrong way out. I mean deleted files i DO need and left what i do not need at all!! After i explained it for five times!!!! Just... It is just incredible!!!!!!
Im furious.

Nope, i guess i should kill somebody.By strangling.

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Yesterday, when i was going to sleep i saw that my father was watching film.
As always i sat near him cause the film seemed to be not bad.
Father went to bed and left me to watch it till the end.
It was the first film, where was such main hero.
After the end the only thing i could say was "Main hero is scum"

Film "Gone baby gone"
The plot: small girl Amanda was kidnaped and probably killed. Her ant doesn t believe police and employes private detective (main hero).
He helps police in another work but suspect one policeman in kidnapping (uncle of the girl was his workmate). Detective makes them talk and finds out, that they kidnaped girl to save her from drug addicted mother, who almost killed girl for two times because of carelessness. And detective finds the girl. Amanda is happy in the house of two people (her uncle friends) who care about her. She IS happy. Her new father asks him not to call to the police. Detective's girlfriend (the person i really admire) says "Remember, if you call, i ll hate you". And this... I don t know how to call him! He calls the police. Her new father was arrested. The girl was returned to her drug addicted mother, who still conduct herself like she has no daughter. His girlfriend left him.

And would understand understand his behavior if he said that he do it because of law. But he tries to justify himself. Like "I m not guilty, i thought her mom would improve situation. And she will not be happy if strangers would raise her... And... And i was right!"- thought he, while Amanda was sitting behind the TV all alone with mother on the date. And when he came to the of the policeman who sacrificed his life to protect the girl... I wonder could he still find any excuses? Conclusion: main hero is offensive for me.

In this film i really liked his girlfriend. Calm, strong. She helped her lover6 she cared about him. He was proud of him. And she tried to stop him. And the most important - she didn t betrayed herself and left, cause she couldn t live with a person, who destroyed child's life.

That s the end.

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New ПЧ)

 Найто, nice to see you))
Can i ask you, what brings you here?)



Notre dam central portal) I think it is truly beautiful thing))

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Ok.

It is just one message about history.

So i ll start from the beginning.
What did Jesus say? I don t ask you to re tall bible. Just the most important.

To love even your enemies.

And i m not asking why russian metropolitan gave his blessing for russian campaign against polovtsians in 1111. Cause it was at least reasonable. Cause it was to protect.

But i do not want to understand why he gave it when russian forces slaughtered Sugrov (Polovsians city) with ALL it's population. I mean with children.

And after that someone has right to say:
1)Church follows God's will
2)We are better than catholics with their crusades
3) Go to the church and be cleansed of your sins

So people really think that killing innocent children is God's will?
So actually there wasn t anything holly in the Russian religion changing.Cause is it any difference in killing innocent being heathen or christian?

That s the thing why i never attend services.

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I m quitting diary and vkontakte for all exams cause i failed History. Nope, i m okay.
So now i must re take it at least for 4. No matter what.

Thank you for attention. Love you very much. Internet - goodbye ))

Keesha i still plan to come to Moscow but i don t know how i ll look into your mother's eyes...

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Exams... Myyyyyyyyy... A want to sleep, eat and just rest cause this damn history is slowly eating my brain....
Okay. I should quit whimpering and inaction....
Wanna book!! Not hiiistory!! Uaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Okay.
So one more time - Establishment of Russian statehood.

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Sometimes

Sometimes you can say - New time ll start from tomorrow.
New I ll exist...
I ll never do such thing from first friday of second month..
I ll be another person!
And sometimes it works...

But some changes come to you slowly. For the first time you don t even understand them, but then...
I can t remember when i started to like giving presents. When giving for me became even more happy than receiving.
Nope, i don t say that i don t like to receive..
But it is so wonderful to understand that you made someone happy just for the moment.
And finally i m in love with writing new year and birthday's cards. Not two sentences but small composition.
It is being happy cause someone near you is happy.

(Off-top)
But i need to do something with my handwriting.
Cause people do so nice misreadings.. For example it was just simple "лягух" but no mysterious "ляцх"... Someday i ll kill somebody by it. Cause like Deimossy said - uncontrollable attacks of laughing can be dangerous for health, ne?)))

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There aren t so much books in the world at which i can laugh sincerely when i m alone. It can be very funny and if there was at least one person in the other edge of the room (even if i don t know him) and i ll laugh. But if i m alone i m staying silent. I m laughing, yes... But i don t show it. I m laughing inside.
It s the same for all other mimics that can show my emotions.
And it doesn t mean that the book isn t good enough.
Two of my favorite authors write books which i feel inside.
And Another two - outside. Frei is one of them, but it is not about it

Yes, i m re reading Ivanova "Three sides of the mirror" First part

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My exams

My first university exams have sent of boiled buckwheat and taste of green tea.

Tea... I have so much of it now and it is beautiful) All sorts are tasty, thank you, my friends)

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Morning

Tomorrow is my first university exam. In 10 o'clock. Literature.I guess it isn t scary. Even if i know, what my knowledge is sooo tiny and sooo not enough to pass...
(Cause how come they give as 5 authors we didn t even mention??)
I m eating buckwheat. The nicest thing is that i find it quite tasty... Elenatanuki, is it your influence?
There is snow. A lot of snow.
I want to do so many things, but i can t cause tomorrow is my exam.

Brrrr. Ok. It s enough whimpering.
Curse me tomorrow from 10 o'clock)))

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This is not a review or some genius philosophy

Just VERY messy feelings about the film "The libertine"

Some time ago i said that Roke Alva is one of few roles that can t be played by Johnny Depp. I was deeply mistaking. Cause he is the only actor i ve ever seen who can show not beautiful man who can only drink and be with woman - he can show this person not as idol, which was built by his fans. But... I can t explain it properly, but i guess Depp would play Real Alva. Cause playing him (like every role in this story) needs a tremendous talent.

Actually i ve just watched "The Libertine"
It is not beautiful film. At all. It isn t kind film. Never.
There we can see England in Middle Ages.
Love.
faithfulness.
Faith.
Hard drinking.
Libertinism.
Theatre.
But all these things doesn t resemble one we are ready to see.
Love?
His love for his wife?
Or to the actress?
Or his wife's love?
Or his mother's?
Or is it love of one prostitute?
His faithfulness to the truth?
His wife faithfulness?
Or the faithfulness of his servant?

This is not simple film. i said earlier - it isn t nice. But it IS a work of genius.
Watching films with Depp you never know what it ll be - comedy, melodrama or something else. Will he be nice or funny or cruel?
All you can say is just one - it ll be something you didn t see before.

So - "The libertine"
film starts and you think that all is simple. He is hard drinking libertine who fools his wife. But of course somewhere deep in his heart he is suffering. And don t forget that he is beautiful talented and self confident!
His wife? Nice but stupid, yes? Being fooled without noticing.
Prostitute? Want money and "pretty self confident talented Him"
Actress? Have no talent. Naive young girl. Stupidly falls in love.
King - fat, misunderstanding and of course stupid.

But while you watch it you understand that all these stereotypes are broken. And people you see at the screen have nothing in common with your expectations.

I said it ones and i ll say again. This film is a work of Genius.

@темы: Зайцы смотрят

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While preparing to Logic exam we learned such interesting thing like "Logic hell"

Week later i found two pictures that really helps to understand what is it

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TOEFL IBT is eating my brain...

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I watched really beautiful film...
It is story about small person - not a hero, not a president, he is not somebody with unbelievable story. He is just a teacher. He didn't plan to change their lives, but he did.
I don t know how he managed this... Was it just his smiles? Or music? Or may be his kindness and love? Or... that small thing - he believed. Believed in them.
Well.. I don t know... It is story about... children... teacher... music... Talent?
Keesha, you said it once after watching Big fish.
It s this feeling Big fish leaves. May be not exactly it. May be not so strong...But you feel yourself clean. Like something heavy from your heart fly away.

French film "Choristers"

@темы: Зайцы смотрят

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New year))

So i went to bed later (5:10) than all my family, but of course i got up earlier(13:06) ))
And what i m doing in the first new year's day?
Of course I m preparing to my exams))

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Новогодняя Елка!

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Happy new year!!!

Let this year be happy!

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So now i ll finally resume retiring year

Then i was in fifth grade i said to my teacher that i ll have the best marks. She didn't believe me and was right - i couldn't keep my promise. But that year i end my school with only one in class perfect certificate - cause i was trying hard.

I enter the university, which i wished to enter and now i m studying there. My first examinations are coming, but i ll pass them.

It was the year of realizing. Realizing the importance of people around me - my family, my classmates, teachers, friends.

Year of beautiful films, music, anime, books.

This year i finally made my room not just placement, but Home.

I finished two stories - "Надежда" and "Глаза очерчены углем". And it was really something... indescribable! Cause it is a big luck, that those people trust their stories to me.

Year of bull met me with wonderful people: Сашарисса,  Deimossy,  Молекула ветра,  Ardna,  elenatanuki, Daria (from my university), Mariam, made me friends with  kiari, whom i knew from 2008.

I changed myself this year and i m happy. It was the year, when i fall in love with Petersburg. With people around. With life itself. It was the year of making important decisions. It was the year of finding so much important things...

And this year i finally understand, that my dreams are coming true. Earlier or later in one or in another way. Even if it is not god's will - I can make them come true myself and nobody has enough strength to stop me.

I traveled a lot this year - Moscow, Frankfurt, Berlin, Paris, Poland...

I found out so much new and interesting in literature, science and so one, cause i was studying.

I understood what i really want from this life. And i ll be strong staying by my side and not giving up in the next year.

Thank you for all. My dear friends - i love you. And it ll be much harder to move forward without you.
Lets meet the tiger together)

Happy New Year.